of late, this thing has had me baffled to no end. i mean, whats the big deal about it!? go to the barber, get that hair cut, walk out as a creature with a semblance farther away from a primate. that was all i thought there was to getting a haircut. now with such an approach, i surely seem to identify with a primate!
this time around, i did succumb to the calls of making myself look 'presentable' (just stopped short of gift wrapping myself). its important, etiquette training tells us, how clients perceive business executives from their appearances. i was also told that i was a business executive (thats important too). so i shun my friendly neighbourhood barbershop and go to some place that oozed with a good measure of finesse. these guys know how to make a primate look like human (or, as i would like to believe, the other way!)
savvy place this Green Trends. kavin care runs it, and its infested most of chennai. i thought it was a levers' misdoing. the salon cashier corrects me with "thats ayush, sir!" at least he knows his competitor! am glad :) as i step into the operation theatre, surgeon steps in, apron on, covers me in a black robe (was that to prevent the agony of seeing so much hair being lost or to act as a dandruff mirror!?) everything about that place seemed stylish - the rates included! i had ventured here on my roomie's suggestion (this better be good!)
to do justice to the charge, i tell the surgeon "make it reeeaalleee short" and he replies with a surprised, "full short sir!?" me thinks, is there more than one way of interpreting what short meant!? or was there something called 'half short'!? "yes, full short." "but it wont sit sir." i tell him i'm used to having my hair stand on end, but he doesnt get it. he asks, albeit reluctantly, "square sir!?". excuse me!? square!? did not know geometry had a role to play in this. nor was my mental status deserving such an interrogation! but the chappie was kind enough to explain, it was the finish on the back of the head that he meant. aah! did anyone ever bother about such things!?
for 17 years, not once did my friendly neighbourhood mumbai barber put me through so much of cross questioning. such permutations and combinations in hairstyles were intuitive to him. or maybe he was used to following my mom's instructions for 3 years prior to that :-) he would dare not question her idea about how her son's head should look. he was used to working his sickle in silence.
where was i? aah yes, the short square cut. for one who hates cricket, i must confess, this jargon does come handy at times! the surgeon was concerned about how i looked. i was concerned about saving precious dollars, $15 (plus tips, sorry gratuity) isnt a very pleasing price to pay when you part with something thats yours! its one of the preparations we guys have to do before a trip to Sam's land. i could see those cents jingling in my pocket with every mm of hair that fell on the floor! go baby go! cut more! its harvest season!! until... stop! this human now does look like a primate!
surgeon looks at me with a helpless.... sir, i told you, it will not sit! baah! am used to it! does it even matter!?