Wednesday, November 30, 2005

5 seconds

lovely lass on two wheeler. glances around checks traffic. a glance again and eyes meet. the world stops and pulse shoots. mom on pillion sizes me and scans id card. no pulse. lionesses also protect their cubs. it’s a feline nature. growl.

heaven and hell visited. 5 seconds.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


much as i love the language, its irony stupefies me. take for e.g. ‘losing his temper’. now temper is bad. a short fuse. not good. so if i have it, am not an exciting person to be around. but if i lose it, i'm still not preferred company. weird!


for some odd reason people ask me about the status of the india-sa cricket match happening today here in chennai. this bloke so very well knows i'm plugged into an iPod and NOT a freaking radio! and i dont even like cricket!

something makes me stop short of whacking him. grr…

Monday, November 21, 2005

wooster plans

at places i go by the nick ‘wooster’. or ‘bertie’ alternatively. it is my fascination with the master P G Wodehouse and his works, and more so with the character he created. but i never quite realized that the ‘wooster’ tag would fit me in more ways than one.

i mean, the way i manage to comfortably plant myself into trouble is legendary. i could very well do without wooster help! but yes, it’s the wooster brain again that comes to the rescue at most times. jeeves does not always find his intellect in the spotlight :)

it was PP’s birthday yesterday and we are all gung-ho about it. the plot was to make the old top feel like a child again. pizza hut offers a good ground to make the birthday babies feel like well, babies :) the point was to get him there. he has his own sweet plans of throwing a party elsewhere. fortunately/unfortunately he hadn’t worked on it and we didn’t actually have a place to party out.

plans to set our plot to fruition were abound since friday, only PP had to be clandestinely brought there. he should not have the slightest wiff of what would be in store for him. so stage was set for the grand trap. witch, devil, m & c were only too glad to make me bell the cat. made me the head of lying dept. and was to come up with the most outlandish ways to woo PP to p.h.

the plot: PP and i share a common love – the iBook and the iPod. so i wanted him to try out the wi-fi features at p.h. and work on podcasting. i don’t quite know how/why he agreed to check it out, but i added the extra gizmo stuff on bluetooth to just seal the plot. icing on the cake eh? precisely. poor bloke was quite enthusiastic about it, but birthdays being birthdays, he had his hands full. all these lies and when i almost thought he had agreed, came in his itenary for the day. errands to run and party to throw, no time for gizmo checking.

witch, m & c did not subscribe to this plot. they wanted a tear jerker story to make for some man-to-wooster talk. how melodramatic these women can get! like yeah right, i'll manage to get PP all the way into p.h. just to talk about a non-existent sad life. a non-existent gizmo life was so much easier to weave! the podcasting not working out is melodramatic in itself! but they wont waste their kerchiefs on that. melodramatic too.

spent a frantic saturday fielding questions from w, m & c about the plan working out. PP for one, kept dodging the meet. left me wondering, had he smelt a rat? but we ensured the cake didn’t have rat in it. freaky! come sunday, the plan was showing signs of registering a bed in the ICU. dying its own sweet death. an appointment close to PP’s place and a subsequent visit there did nothing to further the cause of the plot one bit. of course, the turn of events were potent enough to make murphy’s rule book shudder in its folds.

PP in the meantime sifted through a zillion fliers trying to get a place for the party. my hunch is, all those places got a whiff of the menagerie he was bringing with him. almost everyone refused to entertain his requests. the cenotaph road dhaba express manager though was made of sterner substance. he agreed to brave our group and had the tables set. only, as the wooster plan would have it, we did not turn up there!
convinced that the p.h. plan was a washout, c suggested that PP be made aware of our devious intentions. so the plot unwraps before his gawking eyes as he drives his cousin at the airport, dropping me off enroute. i guess the diabolic nature of the plan made him miss a few turns and i was no where close to being dropped off! a trip to the airport for no particular reason is therapeutic at times. it helps one introspect and realize a whole lot of other things one does, again, for no particular reason.

strangely enough, spilling out the truth about the plan had a more favourable effect on PP than the plot. left me wondering about the effort i expended in spinning the damn yarn! damn w, m & c! PP instantly agreed to having a jig at p.h. so there i was, furiously getting back to messaging everyone about the change in venue and how the plot succeeded! until which time i was furiously messaging everyone about why the plot failed. thank god for free sms! prepaid service, thou has a valiant supporter of thy cause in me! so now, with the sudden turn of events, i got to be the em cee. again, for no particular reason! see? i told you the introspection helps.

of course, the confusion did prevail. part of the group were told to get to dhaba express while the rest were headed to p.h. truly devious eh!? >:) but PP was polite. he managed to get the rest to p.h.. shoot! what a spoil sport! would have been so much fun to find them at d.e. and no party happening there!

finally, with much fanfare, we have a good time at p.h. over pitchers of cola & ice tea (at least p.h. had got the tea part right. they need to work on the ice though) and some smacky pizzas to hog :) did we forget the cake!? naah! fed PP well with cake, with minor goof-ups in hand-to-mouth coordination. my hand, PP’s mouth. it was nice to see PP’s face smeared with a creamy pink moush & beard. nice fashion statement that ;)

ah! alls well that ends well. the wooster plan being a success after all! thank you devil, witch, m & c!

Monday, November 14, 2005

lessons in probability

during one of my trips to bangalore, hailed a rick to get back home. normal affair that, but was only too pleased to find a rick-chap who agreed to go my way. got in with great gusto only to have something hit my head. hard. distinctly remember a cracking sound. looked around to find a lamp that was inches short of being called a chandelier. ‘thoda hallu chado saab! dekh ke! chot laga so?’ yeah sure… its just everyday that you find ricks with ceiling lamps.

‘You have confused the unusual and the impossible’ – Psmith. (Mike and Psmith, P G Wodehouse)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


looking out
shaukhat ali/khan (i couldn’t care less) – he’s the prime minister of pakistan (i think, that doesn’t matter either). news channel interviews him as he surveys the earthquake hit parts of kashmir – the pakistan side. was intrigued by his choice of words. he called this side of kashmir ‘india occupied kashmir’. nothing quite wrong with that, we call the other side ‘pakistan occupied kashmir’. (it hurts at times when these terms get used so frivolously) what set it apart was he referred to pok as ‘azad kashmir’. he may be just a politician trained to talk that way, whether he believes in it or not. but even that doesn’t matter. it’s the inherent underlying assumption that hits.

i am not an authority in history, so don’t know what the status of kashmir ought to be. neither do i recollect the outcome of the plebiscite. but what do they mean by ‘azad kashmir’!? of course, they would want to make kashmir independent of india, but would they let it stay that way? just a thought. scratching this one gives me a headache.

looking in
the more pro-hindu parties (or their leaders, because they want to stay popular with their party followers) believe that we need a temple at ayodhya. so out goes a mosque. did we hindus have a dearth of temples to visit? or is it that this particular temple will provide us with some special powers that will deliver us from all our sins? (once we manage to segregate what acts comprise sin) with the temple made, are they now going to force us to visit it, just ’cos its been made? damn it! we’ve slogged our butts out on this one! you better pray there! what happened to all the altruistic options of an education institute or a hospital? too condescending for their egos?

there’s something i surely fail to notice. i agree.

"We are all ignorant, only about different things" - Mark Twain.