of queues, trains and buses...

you see it all around you... and its not just here. people hate standing behind someone else in a queue. its a direct hit on their self-respect. they might be headed nowhere for all they care, but a queue wasnt made for them. so here is a guy supposed to be behind me in line for a train ticket but insists on standing right next to me. and thus is born the second queue... make it a point to remind him of his rightful position on the serpentine and i get the philosophical nod... "hmm... i know". my words however arent encouraging enough for him. its a land of equals after all. this is how democracy is deciphered. the right is exercised when we reach the ticket window... and our man tries to thrust his note in before i do... a stern stare is met with a grunt of cheap liquor. he's in his senses alright!

***

one thing i like about this city - its got local trains! reminds me of mumbai. but yeah, not that the locals use them... here in chennai, it is little more than a giant toy. picture this - on either side of the compartment you have not more than 2 seats per row. at the design table, either they expected people to get their daily exercise by standing all the way or so ashamed of their work, they hoped (and ensured) as less people as possible would get onto them... and dig this... the signaling system in chennai stations... they still have someone step out of the station master's room to flash a red & green. yes, i heard that guffaw of yours :)

now here's another thing that really intrigues me. i knew restaurants are to shut down by 11pm. i think this was more for the watering holes as a measure of control. now food courts in chennai central station follow the rule to the T. there's a whole group of hungry travellers at the doors and the stall owners are more than glad to shoo them away.

stall owner: no! get lost. i cant serve you. its 11pm.
customer: but am paying you for it! and its not even 11 yet!
s/o: so!? (10:50 actually but i truly madly deeply hate customers) you better come up with a stronger reason than that my lad!
all this as he rather hurriedly covers the shelves as if we looking at them might end up urging him into making a sale. but then, he looks at it more as "groan! he's gonna make me work! baah!!"

***

now here's my another favourite crib section. BMTC :) bus stand to home is a rs.3 ticket... pay the conductor that much and he gives back a rupee with no ticket... EVERYTIME. insist on a ticket and you will hear the fiercest of the snarls and made to get off at your stop from a running bus :)

radio ga ga...

this had been on my mind for quite some time now. cnn-ibn's (another of my fav channels) "southern verdict" was much like the vigorous shake of a bottle of soda.

there's fm radio in chennai (yes, its time it started behaving like a city if it wants to be called one.) with more channels coming up of late. am told theres radio city as well as radio mirchi. i jumped with joy and clapped my hands with glee when i heard the news... strained my ears with childlike expectation to hear something other than tamil in the airwaves. i have nothing against tamil or tamil radio... but public demand seems to have everything against what is not tamil. radio city as i knew it to be never got to be so here in ammaland... in the days of yore it did have a mix of hindi, english and tamil for about a month; until it wised up and started playing only tamil... its ad revenue probably hit new highs after it learnt the rule of the land :)

makes me wonder if the local populace loves the language truly, madly, deeply or mere hypocritic hatred for something else - am tempted to use the word "foreign" in context of hindi. as a show of hands, i would vote for the latter. hypocrisy? yes, that too. why? heres where we go on air :)

theres this channel whose name i couldnt care to note, where its jingle starts with the schummacher song and proceeds into a hindi intro... it lights up my face... but what follows is a barrage of tamil movie pieces (my understanding of music refuses to let me call what they air songs) its just the jingle... i dont understand this. if all they play is tamil songs, why resort to hindi and english as a crowd puller? seems like the listener is aware of this music but still wants only tamil. a couple of RJs get into what seems like a warzone. i sit tensed. but the crowd seems to be laughing in tandem with the chaos... oh! so thats how their jokes sound!? ok :)

then there is this song which has adnan sami's voice (i think). probably the movie demands it or its this guy's style, the tune had to have a northy feel in it. there seems a desparate desire to ride the populist wave, but also an insecure yearning to look beyond the moat. but this doesnt last for long... what follows resembles a masai hunting song. am sure they have one, if not they might as well borrow it from here. but my fellow passenger seems to be having a gala time lip-singing it... wow! this guy actually likes this!? he even affords me the horror of a jig. michael jackson is put to shame...

this is where cnn-ibn fits right in. it seems the southern states had a golden jubilee month celebrating their "southernhood". i wouldnt comment on the skewed manner in which the research was carried out... nor will i attempt at understanding why rajdeep sardesai felt jolly glad about 36% southies polled wanting hindi made compulsory in schools while "only" 45% wanting it to be a voluntary subject. what i would like to understand is the need for such a program in the first place :P do programs like these hold any water when basic demand for seclusion and exclusivity glare at you in the face?

of cabs and AC coaches...

it was one of those futile attempts at traveling light. grossly futile one must say... what with one that warranted me to hail a cab to get me to the city station.

well, here i was waiting for my 10:15 cab and as soon as i notice the vehicle at my doorstep, out i jump and board it. "ramesh sir? central station?" - me says, "not ramesh. central station, yes." and off we go. for a place like chennai, i was mighty impressed by this chap's punctuality! now these cab guys need to keep informing their control room of their pickups and drops... so while our man kept bellowing into his wireless "saar 411, on drip! number 411, on drip!" (took me a while to realise he meant we were on our trip!) though all we heard was the control room howling into the radio set that his customer was pretty pissed that he wasnt picked up... about 20mins into our trip i get a frantic call informing me that the chap on the other end was at my residence waiting to pick me up... now what are the chances that two individuals call the same cab service, from the same area, at the same time and head to the same destination? :)

that settled, i finally make it to chennai central. i must also add this trip truly deserved being labeled unusual. its not always i book my tickets in 3rd AC, but the times i do, my co-passengers ensure am not left unamused :) we always have a crowd that has this glaring misconception that as one shells out that extra money for that extra bit of comfort, one is obligated to talk in english - which may well be a verbatim translation of one's native tongue. in steps our protagonist huffing and puffing the hot madras air...

bloke: (looks up at the coach ceiling) "AC ij not on?"
lady: (not to be left behind) "it has just been on-ed. it will take some time to get cold."

mind you, we are in an AC compartment. boasting expensive gadgetry is second nature. so out comes our bloke's cellphone. now it is imperative he lets us know it can play songs and more than proves it to us with his hits of kumar sanu...! i had to burst that bubble - my ego was being called names here! so out come my iPod and PDA phone... there! :P and as the journey proceeds into the night, its time for all to hit the sack... we have the best saved for last...

bloke: uich ij your borth?
lady: (pointing at two of them) thich and thich

culture police

sometimes i wonder if i just go around asking for it! it was a delayed decision to make a weekend trip to b'lore. after much dilly-dallying about taking the following monday off and make it a real nice vacation :) but decided against it and stuck to the plain-vanilla weekend trip.

i certainly seem to be in a minority 'cos there was no dearth of tickets to get back here on a monday morning. the problem however lay in reaching b'lore. for someone like me, who is always quite kicked about online bookings, it was overwhelming to find a private tour operator offer such an option!

now this travel operator's site gives you a lot of options... but considering my timing, wasnt left with much. so here i was, looking at a volvo service with just 1 seat to go. gleefuly i decide to go ahead with the booking only to be shown a message that i wasnt eligible for the said seat. the reason? the seat adjacent to the lone one i chose was taken by a female passenger!! wow!

frankly, am at a loss for words here... not that i was overly joyous with the thought of having female company for the trip... it is imperative that i must remind the reader here that i do not abhor female company. not the least! but its the other way round that disturbs me. then again, my past observations of female transit on the b'lore-chennai route certainly makes me not look forward to such company. takes me to the one-liner "99% of the women in this world are beautiful, the rest travel b'lore-chennai"...!! grrr..

but i am deviating from the point here. my angst was about not being given that ticket... it merely reflects the kind of "culture" found in this part of the country. custodians of culture and tradition is what they like to think of themselves. somehow they need to convince me of the culture they are protecting when their very backyard is one overworked sleaze factory.... does it unsettle them that this little secret of theirs is out in the open?

oh btw, they allow a female to sit next to a seat occupied by a male... funny.

telemarketers ahoy!

much as the world hates telemarketers, i have taken a fancy to them. especially here in chennai. for one, they are quite courteous and come with no urge to push the product into your hands. their intentions are purely entertainment in nature. your entertainment.

XYZ Bank: "Sir, calling from XYZ Credit Card division..."
me: "Uh.. no thank you"
XYZ Bank: "Ok" *click*

the call lasts all of 8 seconds, solely based on your ability to prolong it. (next time i shall follow that "uh.." with a "hmmm...") but leaves you with a very good feeling at the end of it. you dont have to shout/abuse the caller at the other end, quite politely (and gladly) he/she agrees to put the phone down (in most cases beats you to it) and also gives you that much appreciated power break in the midst of work :)