Tuesday, December 27, 2005

adieu

December 23, 2005.

it’s the hardest thing to do. much as i can the emotional self, or feel there's nothing of that sort in me, its times like these that make the heart leap and crash out of its cage. tears don't well up that easily (should i be proud of that?) but the body shivers.


there was a time i used hate chennai. but how can you hate the place that gives you the best of friends? the ones that make you wish you always were in their midst? c called for a dinner at her place. she said it was gonna be a quiet little affair. me agreed instantly. who would not want to drive down ecr for a good evening out? :) pp was the driver. hmm small party i tell myself and am about to leave. pp says he gotta take a detour and so devil drops in. i should’ve noticed that there was more to it :) but the very adventure of getting there kind of helped in no doubt creep up. thanks to the expert directions provided by c's significant half, s.

imagine my surprise when i reach there to find the dear little ryze menagerie i hang around with! i forget whether it was a "surprise" or a "boo" that they let out, was too stunned to find them there. m and s2 pop out of nowhere. yeah, learnt how wide my jaw can drop :) was later enlightened to the fact that a bigger group was called in. unfortunately couldn't make it there. shoot! these things make one rather emotional you know. not something i usually expect to cross my path. and my hands were not trembling 'cos of age or 'cos it was a nikon s4 :) you ought to have checked my pulse then. would've shot the sphygmo through the roof!

its tough to get out of that elated mood! am born with two left feet, but would love to blame the surprise you guys sprung on me for not having danced that evening :D

thanks c, s(c), devil, m, s(witch - the christmas cake was tops!), s & pp (and of course the others who would've turned up there otherwise). it was the best farewell i could've ever expected!

'a friend is the one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart' – mail signature of a wise friend of mine.

so true! so true!

so much for the emotional outburst! can't even blog about it! but i guess its the only way i am capable of expressing it. :

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

unsubscribe

ever unsubscribed from those zillions of promotional campaigns these banks throw at you? i for one, make it a point to do that with every institute i'm associated with (no matter how remotely). all of them gloat about the technology-savviness of their systems. but it still intrigues me.

every one of them gives you that all important 'unsubscribe' link. eagerly you follow it. in most cases you would be lucky if the page loads at first attempt. (take a hint bloke! they want to fill your inbox with the loads of stuff you can buy with the money you don't have). furiously you key in your mail id and press the all so gorgeous looking 'unsubscribe' button. poof! stage two of junk mail-list retention – the page might not load.

it might go through if there's a guardian angel watching whom you've bribed like crazy. then you see the message 'you shall be unsubscribed from our promotional mailing list in two working days. sorry to see you go… blah blah blah… but you shall still continue to receive… blah blah blah… ' what!? i still get stuff from them after all this!? oh ok. its just the statements. phew! you almost had me there! (icici bank – my favourite crib bank wants 3 days to do that) just imagine your plight were you to do this on a friday. (or thursday in the case of icici :p) they get 3 whole days (4 for icici) to clobber you with as much junk as possible! there! take that! and that! how dare you refuse the shit we throw at you! did someone ask for weekends?

now, it was so easy for these guys to put you on that list (in all probability you are on it once you open an account – system driven they say.) what makes it so bloody difficult to automate getting out of it!? it surely wouldn't take the server that long to remove one measly mail id from a list! ah! now i see it. the marketing guy wants to know who the defiant renegade is. you shall not be purged of your sins without hearing from the marketing guy.

finally, unsubscribe done. 2 working days (3 for icici) done. but you might still hear about the latest pre-approved personal loan they designed 'just for you'. why? i guess their system just forgot to get you out of the list. amnesia you know. happens. here's where you step in to fire a feedback/complaint to them.

:)

seen those java and asp errors when you submit feedback? all that lingo Apache Servlet, SQLerror, ConnectionString, yada yada... gives one a feeling of dabbling in rocket science.

Monday, December 05, 2005

NDTV again....

this has the classic NDTV signature all over it! looks like they get trained to come out with er… ‘NDTVisms’!? :)

reporter covers a train accident (did not note where). she goes something like ‘lineman has been taken up for questioning on account of negligence. lie detector tests from forensic department conclude that he’s lying. results of the test are not made public’.

huh!? is a lie detector supposed to tell you something beyond that!?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

5 seconds

lovely lass on two wheeler. glances around checks traffic. a glance again and eyes meet. the world stops and pulse shoots. mom on pillion sizes me and scans id card. no pulse. lionesses also protect their cubs. it’s a feline nature. growl.

heaven and hell visited. 5 seconds.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

confused!

much as i love the language, its irony stupefies me. take for e.g. ‘losing his temper’. now temper is bad. a short fuse. not good. so if i have it, am not an exciting person to be around. but if i lose it, i'm still not preferred company. weird!

grr...

for some odd reason people ask me about the status of the india-sa cricket match happening today here in chennai. this bloke so very well knows i'm plugged into an iPod and NOT a freaking radio! and i dont even like cricket!

something makes me stop short of whacking him. grr…

Monday, November 21, 2005

wooster plans

at places i go by the nick ‘wooster’. or ‘bertie’ alternatively. it is my fascination with the master P G Wodehouse and his works, and more so with the character he created. but i never quite realized that the ‘wooster’ tag would fit me in more ways than one.

i mean, the way i manage to comfortably plant myself into trouble is legendary. i could very well do without wooster help! but yes, it’s the wooster brain again that comes to the rescue at most times. jeeves does not always find his intellect in the spotlight :)

it was PP’s birthday yesterday and we are all gung-ho about it. the plot was to make the old top feel like a child again. pizza hut offers a good ground to make the birthday babies feel like well, babies :) the point was to get him there. he has his own sweet plans of throwing a party elsewhere. fortunately/unfortunately he hadn’t worked on it and we didn’t actually have a place to party out.

plans to set our plot to fruition were abound since friday, only PP had to be clandestinely brought there. he should not have the slightest wiff of what would be in store for him. so stage was set for the grand trap. witch, devil, m & c were only too glad to make me bell the cat. made me the head of lying dept. and was to come up with the most outlandish ways to woo PP to p.h.

the plot: PP and i share a common love – the iBook and the iPod. so i wanted him to try out the wi-fi features at p.h. and work on podcasting. i don’t quite know how/why he agreed to check it out, but i added the extra gizmo stuff on bluetooth to just seal the plot. icing on the cake eh? precisely. poor bloke was quite enthusiastic about it, but birthdays being birthdays, he had his hands full. all these lies and when i almost thought he had agreed, came in his itenary for the day. errands to run and party to throw, no time for gizmo checking.

witch, m & c did not subscribe to this plot. they wanted a tear jerker story to make for some man-to-wooster talk. how melodramatic these women can get! like yeah right, i'll manage to get PP all the way into p.h. just to talk about a non-existent sad life. a non-existent gizmo life was so much easier to weave! the podcasting not working out is melodramatic in itself! but they wont waste their kerchiefs on that. melodramatic too.

spent a frantic saturday fielding questions from w, m & c about the plan working out. PP for one, kept dodging the meet. left me wondering, had he smelt a rat? but we ensured the cake didn’t have rat in it. freaky! come sunday, the plan was showing signs of registering a bed in the ICU. dying its own sweet death. an appointment close to PP’s place and a subsequent visit there did nothing to further the cause of the plot one bit. of course, the turn of events were potent enough to make murphy’s rule book shudder in its folds.

PP in the meantime sifted through a zillion fliers trying to get a place for the party. my hunch is, all those places got a whiff of the menagerie he was bringing with him. almost everyone refused to entertain his requests. the cenotaph road dhaba express manager though was made of sterner substance. he agreed to brave our group and had the tables set. only, as the wooster plan would have it, we did not turn up there!
convinced that the p.h. plan was a washout, c suggested that PP be made aware of our devious intentions. so the plot unwraps before his gawking eyes as he drives his cousin at the airport, dropping me off enroute. i guess the diabolic nature of the plan made him miss a few turns and i was no where close to being dropped off! a trip to the airport for no particular reason is therapeutic at times. it helps one introspect and realize a whole lot of other things one does, again, for no particular reason.

strangely enough, spilling out the truth about the plan had a more favourable effect on PP than the plot. left me wondering about the effort i expended in spinning the damn yarn! damn w, m & c! PP instantly agreed to having a jig at p.h. so there i was, furiously getting back to messaging everyone about the change in venue and how the plot succeeded! until which time i was furiously messaging everyone about why the plot failed. thank god for free sms! prepaid service, thou has a valiant supporter of thy cause in me! so now, with the sudden turn of events, i got to be the em cee. again, for no particular reason! see? i told you the introspection helps.

of course, the confusion did prevail. part of the group were told to get to dhaba express while the rest were headed to p.h. truly devious eh!? >:) but PP was polite. he managed to get the rest to p.h.. shoot! what a spoil sport! would have been so much fun to find them at d.e. and no party happening there!

finally, with much fanfare, we have a good time at p.h. over pitchers of cola & ice tea (at least p.h. had got the tea part right. they need to work on the ice though) and some smacky pizzas to hog :) did we forget the cake!? naah! fed PP well with cake, with minor goof-ups in hand-to-mouth coordination. my hand, PP’s mouth. it was nice to see PP’s face smeared with a creamy pink moush & beard. nice fashion statement that ;)

ah! alls well that ends well. the wooster plan being a success after all! thank you devil, witch, m & c!

Monday, November 14, 2005

lessons in probability

during one of my trips to bangalore, hailed a rick to get back home. normal affair that, but was only too pleased to find a rick-chap who agreed to go my way. got in with great gusto only to have something hit my head. hard. distinctly remember a cracking sound. looked around to find a lamp that was inches short of being called a chandelier. ‘thoda hallu chado saab! dekh ke! chot laga so?’ yeah sure… its just everyday that you find ricks with ceiling lamps.

‘You have confused the unusual and the impossible’ – Psmith. (Mike and Psmith, P G Wodehouse)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

ignorance

looking out
shaukhat ali/khan (i couldn’t care less) – he’s the prime minister of pakistan (i think, that doesn’t matter either). news channel interviews him as he surveys the earthquake hit parts of kashmir – the pakistan side. was intrigued by his choice of words. he called this side of kashmir ‘india occupied kashmir’. nothing quite wrong with that, we call the other side ‘pakistan occupied kashmir’. (it hurts at times when these terms get used so frivolously) what set it apart was he referred to pok as ‘azad kashmir’. he may be just a politician trained to talk that way, whether he believes in it or not. but even that doesn’t matter. it’s the inherent underlying assumption that hits.

i am not an authority in history, so don’t know what the status of kashmir ought to be. neither do i recollect the outcome of the plebiscite. but what do they mean by ‘azad kashmir’!? of course, they would want to make kashmir independent of india, but would they let it stay that way? just a thought. scratching this one gives me a headache.


looking in
the more pro-hindu parties (or their leaders, because they want to stay popular with their party followers) believe that we need a temple at ayodhya. so out goes a mosque. did we hindus have a dearth of temples to visit? or is it that this particular temple will provide us with some special powers that will deliver us from all our sins? (once we manage to segregate what acts comprise sin) with the temple made, are they now going to force us to visit it, just ’cos its been made? damn it! we’ve slogged our butts out on this one! you better pray there! what happened to all the altruistic options of an education institute or a hospital? too condescending for their egos?


there’s something i surely fail to notice. i agree.


"We are all ignorant, only about different things" - Mark Twain.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

wiser...


  • learnt that pouring hot water in a PET bottle distorts it irreversibly. now it looks like its been molested!
  • NDTV still sucks. "Live" reporter bugs passenger about cancelled train. "why did you want to go to bangalore?", he asks, "any urgent work?" his luck, he didnt ask me that...
  • weather is pleasant, the low pressure has given chennai the rains it so much deserved. chennai never looked so good. sad, other places are being ravaged.
  • office building is one of the tallest in this area. can see greenery all around! Posted by Picasa

Friday, October 21, 2005

from the archives

November 30, 2004

did something different yesterday. left office a bit early - like 6.00 pm.... i know... sacrilege! :) promise not to do that again!

anyways, went to see Hulchul. i suggest you guys go for it too, in case you already havnt! on the lines of Hera Pheri.... total madness! i think in all its got abt 15mins of seriousness.

then hit the local restaurant for a late night dinner. we were pleasantly surprised to be served 'complimentary' sweet when we were just about done. i really had the looneyness to ask the waiter "why the show of magnanimity!?". he was only too kind to oblige..... he said something that meant little short of 'leftovers'. 'remaining' was the closest english word he could muster. '3hours stay. 2 hours over...... later spoil' me and my inquisitiveness! wonder how many hours had passed his 2 hours!!

if you hear from me tomorrow, you'll know i've survived the 'remaining'.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

telemarketers ahoy!

much as the world hates telemarketers, i have taken a fancy to them. especially here in chennai. for one, they are quite courteous and come with no urge to push the product into your hands. their intentions are purely entertainment in nature. your entertainment.

XYZ Bank: "Sir, calling from XYZ Credit Card division..."
me: "Uh.. no thank you"
XYZ Bank: "Ok" *click*

the call lasts all of 8 seconds, solely based on your ability to prolong it. (next time i shall follow that "uh.." with a "hmmm...") but leaves you with a very good feeling at the end of it. you dont have to shout/abuse the caller at the other end, quite politely (and gladly) he/she agrees to put the phone down (in most cases beats you to it) and also gives you that much appreciated power break in the midst of work :)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

its the cell phone this time...

nothing personal against chinese goods (i am talking gadgets here) - i think they make them real good. the unsettling part is when someone lets them develop the software too. and they have to confess, their profeciency in English, or the lack of it, is nothing to write home about. but definitely to blog about :p finally got down to setting up GPRS on my moto A760. some of the messages i encountered in my tryst:
  • GPRS enable. Please waiting....
  • Hutch GPRS connect successfully
  • MMS message sending successfully
  • (tried deleting an unsent MMS) MMS is sending... (it never did let me delete that message!)
  • GPRS disable. Please waiting....

i will hunting more messages. Please waiting....

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

neighbour's envy

watching a movie could make you feel relaxed at times. but this was not one of those times. chanced upon "My Wife's Murder". did not have the faintest clue about the flick. that it was a hindi movie was an amusing revelation. that it was a ram gopal varma film did nothing to influence an urge to watch it. but feeling of not wanting to do anything was enough to get me going.

first things first. why such a title!? no one-difficult-hindi-word-with-an-english-explanation names? secondly, looks like suchitra krishnamurthy is on a comeback into showbiz. pity such a pretty face was chucked out so early in the movie. that sure sent my enthusiasm on a tailspin. i also started hating onida boxes. but i wonder where they get them made... pretty tough. they dont rip even when you pull them with dead bodies in! not a very good sales pitch that :-p

verdict - but for the onida box, quite indifferent.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

photo blog


Muir Woods, CA.

this in the midst of a concrete jungle!? heavenly :-) Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 30, 2005

office conversations

#1
something that transpired between the tech lead & me when i just came in last week. was trying to get my m/c moved to a new location (my prev location was taken while i was away)

TL: has your m/c been moved to the new place?
me: nope. spoke to IMG (our office help junta) they said it would not be done till 3pm as there were no assistants around
TL: why till 3pm!?
me: 'cos its rahu kalam till 3pm. its not auspicious to move the machine during that time. might create problems in the proj later.
TL: aiyyo! but today is thursday... rahu kalam starts at 5pm!
me: (speechless)

#2
was explaining to a colleague how the iTrip works

me: its a small FM transmitter, an add-on that transmits the iPod output at an FM frequency.
bloke: what does that do?
me: (i suppose radio transmission was not enough. it was made to accomplish bigger things in life) any FM receiver in the vicinity of 5-6ft can receive whatever the iPod transmits
bloke: so that requires bluetooth right?
me: (speechless)

Thursday, September 29, 2005

chow time

i prefer not looking up the canteen menu before having my lunch. more often than otherwise its a scary proposition. holds prospects of terrible damage to one's appetite! its usually more fun to scan it on the way out. you know, kind of lets you play "match-the-following". today they had something called cappathi and jaalfrazi. on other days they offer "barota". am i glad i dont read it beforehand! :-)

civic sense

always thought this city lacked sensitivity. all that concerns these people is their larger-than-the-world egos. was watching an ambulance desparately trying to wade its way thru traffic, sirens bellowing. not one wretched soul gave way. all they wanted to do was get past the signal before it turned red.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

games people play

game #1
its this thing about strollers that gets to me! somehow its a stand out feature of desis in the US. like a sign of social image. bigger the image, bigger the stroller as one would like it to be. in most cases one can find the baby's stuff spilling out of it (with more underneath) and the baby itself in the parent's arms....!

they no longer come on four wheels. its a complete 8 wheeler! a trailer is whats lacking. a bonanza if the mom conceives twins. can see the gleaming mom as she pushes the stroller around. the pride is not in having a cute/chubby baby. its more about getting to push that HUGE stroller around. i would love to let her lug my luggage cart around till her heart's content!

"yay yay! my hubby is phoren return. he got this stroller (its not a pram!) for our baby!"

game #2 (literally!)
spotted this guy in a rick. laptop open and a frenzy of fingers flying on the keyboard. laptop... while in a rick!? of course, what else would he be found doing.... playing solitaire :-)


something tells me this list will grow :-)